If you saw my webinar about How To Read People By Discovering Their Subconscious Mindset Filters, most probably you got intrigued about the relationship filter. I know this because I received emails from people watching the masterclass, amazed about this new tool to use in their hiring process – and not only there.
That’s why I decided to extract this part, especially since my established follower group is composed of many entrepreneurs. But this knowledge is priceless for any professional, especially that applies to personal relationships too.
Let’s dive in.
Keeping Employees Nowadays is Tough
Now more than ever spotting your right employees got more challenging than ever. In its 2018 Employee Tenure Summary, the BLS reported, the median employee tenure was 4.3 years for men and 4.0 years for women. We don’t have the data for 2019, but we also know that this longevity varies by age and occupation while retention becomes a catch and release game.
That is why any tool that can help you as an employer to at least predict retention probabilities can be a game-changer. And here comes the undeniable utility of the mindset method. I call it the mindset method because it uses one of the subconscious mindset filters which we all know are running us on autopilot. And working with the filters is like hacking someone’s brain.
This Method Works! Mindset Filters are Powerful!
Every time I used this method it was stunningly accurate. I mean I did it in my training with 10, 20 people, or in private coaching. I did this while helping companies with new hires. I did it with my husband, he with his colleagues. Same amazing accuracy.
The only downfall is I didn’t use it enough or speak about it when it’s so valuable for all of you to know. It can save you time, money, or at least prepare you for some changes in the near future. I couldn’t do it with myself because, you know, I was already spoiled with the rules. But other than that it worked magic.
As mentioned above, the subconscious filter you’ll use to determine the longevity of your new employee is called the Relationship Filter.
The Mindset Method using The Relationship Filter
You’ll need 3 coins for that (nickels, dimes, euro cents, you name it). It doesn’t matter what type of coins, just to be the same – carrying the same value. They can be fake coins if you want. But you need them for this test.
Once you evaluate a candidate for the job, place the 3 coins in front of the person. Two of them should have the same orientation. Like if it’s a nickel you have two heads pointing straight up and one of the heads pointing at the other two, or in a different direction. If you use number-based coins you orient the numbers straight up for two of the coins and one pointing in a different direction. You got the idea.
Now, ask this question:
“What’s the relationship between these 3 coins?”
It’s crucial to not change the question, ask it exactly this way, using these exact words. This will give you the ability to hear their language using an ambiguous question based on similarities, not differences.
Now it’s time to listen. Consider every word they say. This way you’ll get the answer you’re looking for, based on 5 categories. You’ll include your new employee or candidate in one of these 5.
5 Types of Employees Based on Longevity
- Sameness with exception
- Sameness and differences equally
- Differences with exception
You look for percentages. This way to can plan for the change.
Let’s translate the data.
- If your candidate will answer pointing out only the similarities between the 3 coins it means he or she is sameness. These are the lifelong type of employees who can stay at the job an entire life, or let’s say a consistent 20 years lifespan.
- If your candidate lists the similarities, but in the end says something like, “Oh, but this head is pointing that way.”; “This one has different years.” Then we have sameness with an exception. They can stay at a job between 5 and 7 years.
You look for percentages and which comes first. Sameness people will always start with similarities. Those with differences will start with that.
- In the case of ‘sameness with exception equally’, it doesn’t matter the order, just the percentage. “These coins are the same, similar value, same color, but different years and spaced unevenly between each other.” Here we have a prediction between 2 and 5 years, but better yet 2-3 years.
- The ‘differences with exception’ category will start pointing out those first. Your candidate will start with something like, “That head is not pointing straight up.” And continue with a couple more. But finally will add, “Oh, but they are all 5 cents.” You can count on 6 months up to 2 years.
- Finally, we have the ‘difference’ based employee, who’ll come up with a list of differences without saying anything about similarities. Count on a couple of months, up to 6.
How Can You Use This Information as an Employer or an HR Professional?
First, don’t panic. Especially if you want someone badly but it turns out he/she’s in category 5, or 4, and you want that person around for many years to come.
- Evaluate the pros and cons. Is that person worth it to be an employee, even if you can’t guarantee how long it will stay? If the answer is yes go to the next point.
- Plan for the change in advance.
Someone with the ‘difference’ filter can stay longer at the job if the job itself changes in that period. If you can count on max. 6 months you need to plan new responsibilities, department changes, different schedules, a different routine, or even title.
Here is the magic.
If that person perceives the change like a new opportunity it can stay.
Mindset Filters: Takeaway
These filters are not good or bad. They reflect how you perceive the relationship between things in your life. How they are related to each other. Once you know what you’re dealing with you can plan things out.
The same goes for personal relationships. If your significant other is with you for 2 years and you know it’s ‘differences with exception’ (or sameness and differences equally) you understand it’s time to spark up the relationship or create some significant changes. If you want to keep that person of course.
I know it’s not ideal, especially if you are ‘forever’ sameness, but at least a big hallo is lifted from your head, and now you know what to expect and evaluate if the sacrifices are worth the effort.
Note! Just to be clear. The Mindset Filters always work. Using the Relationship Filter won’t take all the other evaluation methods out of the table. Your employee still needs to match the company, its culture, and be an overall good fit. And then the relationship filter can come into play.
With Empathy & Love for your personal growth and development!
Cristina Imre – Your Mindset Coach (Executive Coach & Mentor at Quantum Wins | Serial Entrepreneur)
Please share this if you find it useful, and you know others who could benefit from this knowledge.